Films like these are supposed to be hard-hitting. Once they begin to hit you on your head, it usually becomes quite hard to recover for a while. But this one takes things a little further. I speak from experience. I’m still feeling dizzy.
You see before you the badlands of Kanpur in Uttar Pradesh where two little kids are being raised amidst complete anarchy. One of the boys grows up to look like cricketer Mahendra Singh Dhoni, during the phase that Dhoni used to have long, straightened hair. This fellow (Akhil Kapoor), I am told, is the nephew of actor Vinod Khanna. Family quota alone can explain his movie debut. The other buddy (Jay Bhanushali) has worked a lot on television. Both are uniformly unbearable.
‘Desi kattey’ literally means country made pistols. The heroes of this picture deal in desi kattey. Both these boys find a girl each to knock back a romantic number with. They also move up the ladder of local crime, finally becoming right-hand-men of the top don (Ashutosh Rana). You would think the story is sufficiently straight and simple. It could have been, but we would have then missed out on the grand comeback of the ultimate ham-star Sunil Shetty on the silver screen.
Shetty plays an ex-army major, who takes one of the ‘kattey brothers’ under his wings, training him to take up shooting as a professional sport. The trick to become a shooting champion, we learn during the intensive, scientific coaching session, is to recognise the timing between heart beats: “Dhadkanon ke beech ke timing ko pehchano.” Speaking of which, it seems half a day is over, and we’ve only moved on to the second film being delivered to us for the wasted price of one.